Wednesday, April 15, 2020
My Boss Hate My Facial Expressions in Meetings
My Boss Hate My Facial Expressions in Meetings Q: My boss frequently tells me I âhave a face onâ while he is conversing with me about issues that have arisen in meetings. Obviously Iâm not doing this on purpose, and I keep my face as neutral as I can. How should I respond? Iâm young, Iâm extremely busy/stressed at work, and he is often incredibly unhelpful. There is also a small part of me that feels like he says it to belittle me. Because I honestly have no idea what my response should be, and I donât know what it achieves to point out that my face is showing frustration (or whatever it is heâs seeing). Iâm often stressed during the meetings, so itâs entirely possible Iâm pulling a face. But definitely not on purpose. Read More: My department is making us give each other âgroup feedbackâ A: Okay. So, if in fact your face is showing frustration, your boss is making a reasonable point (although using rather juvenilizing language to do it). If heâs giving you feedback or delegating work or having any of the other routine conversations that a manager will have with you, it is a problem if you regularly look frustrated. With most professional jobs, youâre expected to manage your emotions so that youâre not injecting negativity into these sorts of interactions. Regularly looking pissed off while talking with your manager isnât good; youâve just got to have more of a poker face than that. Obviously thatâs easier said than done, but a lot of it stems from mindset. Ideally in these conversations your mindset would be open/collaborative/problem-solving. You want to come across as if youâre seeking to understand your bossâs point of view more than feeling resistant to it. Itâs not that you canât disagree, but youâre going to get the best results if you listen to him with an open mind, even if after mulling it over later, you decide you totally disagree. It also might help to simply practice keeping your face in a reasonably neutral position. You donât need to have a rah-rah expression, but thereâs a difference between âIâm calmly taking in what youâre sayingâ and âI hate what youâre saying.â Thereâs more advice on developing a poker face here. Meanwhile, assuming that youâre not going to master this overnight, if he says something about it again, Iâd say something like, âHmmm, I donât mean to. Iâm focusing on listening to what youâre saying/trying to figure out X/working with you to address Y.â If relevant, you can add, âIâll admit that I am pretty stressed because of Xâ or âIâm having trouble understanding Y â" can we talk more about that?â or whatever makes sense in the context. But all that said, it sounds like the bigger issue is: Whatâs going on that has you so frequently stressed and unhappy in your conversations with your boss? Are the two of you regularly out of sync on how work should be done? Is he just a jerk? Not good at his job? Giving you lots of critical feedback? Giving you an unrealistic workload? Ideally, with whateverâs at the root of it, youâd either discuss it head-on, or decide that heâs not going to change and that you need to decide if you can work there reasonably happily knowing that this is part of the package. But continuing to work there while looking obviously upset a lot isnât a good option. Thatâs going to impact how others perceive you and over time will impact your reputation. Read More: I get embarrassingly emotional when criticized Q: I gave notice and my employer told me to leave immediately â" do they still need to pay me for the notice period? If I gave two weeks notice and was released on the spot but am not able to start my new job for two weeks, does my former job have to pay me for the two weeks? A: They do not. Some employers have legitimate or semi-legitimate reasons for wanting people to leave as soon as they give notice, but itâs good form to pay you for those remaining weeks regardless. But good form doesnât mean legally required, and they can stop your pay on the last day you actually work, even if that day is not the one you chose. Read More: My manager says Iâm too abrupt with coworkers In most states, you could probably collect unemployment for those two weeks since you were unemployed during them through no fault of your own. These questions are adapted from ones that originally appeared on Ask a Manager. Some have been edited for length.
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